I’d been secretly dreading the call that finally came today. Even though, deep down I knew in my heart it was inevitable, with the ways that things have been going on our Island and all over our country. But it finally came, first through a text from a friend, then from scrolling through Facebook and finally from an email and phone call from our school sharing that they would indeed be shutdown for the next two weeks. And I sighed, and felt all the emotions at once.
And then we played Yahtzee.
It was just Ellee and I. Christian went to play basketball with a friend and Jeremy to ride in the woods. And while we played and she giggled, I marveled at the joy that could come from a simple game with dice. I can’t even remember the last time I felt I had time to sit and play games. And overall it was pretty awesome. But while we were playing, these thoughts started to swirl around in the back of my mind.
How do you do nothing for two weeks? At this point, our usual incredibly full schedule of school and sports and ministry and friends and groups will basically be non-existent.
And throughout the day that tension just built upon itself, because it seems like there are just a whole lot of unknowns at this point. And in a life where most everything has been usually known, it’s just a pretty unsettling feeling.
And this part is just personal. But if you know anything about me, you know I’m an extreme extrovert. I thrive off of being around people and I love it and I love them. And to be honest, with all of the cancellations, the mere thought of not being able to be around people just made me sad.
After Yahtzee, we went for a walk. I’ve mentioned before, I don’t like the news and try to avoid most of it, and especially these days because so much of it is negative and it just stresses me out. But what doesn’t stress me out is nature and the Bay and exercise and walks with this awesome girl. So we walked and it really did feel just a little better.
And all the while, I found that I need to accept that I’m in a season of processing. I need to take time to process the uncertainty. To accept what I can’t change. I need to choose not to worry or fear. Fear is a big one for me. I’m kind of afraid of how we get through the next few weeks, and then in reality, really how we get through this coming chapter of life. But living in fear is the worst, so I need to work on that a lot. In some ways, especially with the “social distancing” I feel alone in this and that also adds to everything else. And then I wonder, am I the only one who feels this way?
Friends, I don’t have the answers. But tonight I remind myself that I know the One who does. I know that God loves us and I know that He’s still in control. None of this is worrying Him. And chances are, He’s got a lot He wants to do in and through us, throughout these current challenges of life and the more we are connected to Him, the more we can be connected to the bigger picture of what is going on.
The world seems pretty uncertain these days. But my goal is to find and share the good because no matter what, it’s always there. Feel free to check in with me on this journey and let’s also share as much encouragement as we can. Because these are the things that will help us continue to join together in community and to keep moving forward, no matter the changes that may come.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”