On Her Own

I could use some help.

Because our 10 year old daughter has a big test this Friday on the American Revolution.  And so I looked through the packet and read through the terms.  For the record, it was a bit overwhelming because apparently it’s been awhile since I studied up on the American Revolution.  I entered the terms into Quizlet (an incredibly helpful study app) and figured that would take care of that.  But then I read that there would be four essay questions, that would need an introductory sentence, details and closing.  And when you have a daughter that struggles in school and you see things that you know are going to be super challenging, it kind of feels really hard.  Kind of like you’re trying to hike up a very large mountain in flip flops.

I wrote her teacher for clarification on one question and appealed to my Facebook friends for another.  And when I finally came up with four satisfactory answers to help our daughter work through, I have to say I was pretty proud of myself.  And for the life of me, when I excitedly told her we would spend the better portion of tonight working through the four essay questions, I couldn’t figure out for the life of me, why she was less than thrilled.

Fast forward through some minor frustration, and a little “talking” and then yelling (from both parties involved) and then lots of tears and then major frustration.  And I found myself facing our daughter with tears in her eyes asking me why I couldn’t just trust her to do it on her own.  And I had a hundred answers to that question.  Because it’s too hard.  Because I don’t even fully get it.  Because usually when we work together, it goes so much better.  But she pleaded with me to understand that sometimes she just wants to do things on her own.

And I realized that I wasn’t sure how to let go and let her do just that.  How do you let your kids go, knowing that they might fail?  How do you trust them to know things when you don’t even know them completely yourself?  I mean, truly, what I wanted to do was to convince her that I was right and that she needed to do things the way that I thought was best.  But in the end, would that really be the best thing to do?

Side note.  The picture above is our daughter, hiking up a very large mountain, in flip flops.  Deep down inside, past my fears and worries for this girl, I know there is a fierce warrior who is going to get through many, many battles.  Possibly in flip flops.  Possibly in high heels.  But because of the amazing gifts and heart God’s given her, she will never cease to surprise us.  And I thank God for this and for her.

So yes.  All that being said, this would be my appeal.  Any thoughts or ideas on this topic would be greatly appreciated.  Parenting is hard and trying to go it alone and seem like I know it all has never really done much for me.  I’d love to hear and would greatly appreciate any bits of wisdom from parents who may have found themselves where I find myself tonight.